summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
