There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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