My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
