GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I need a beard to bite.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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