before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish you could order shots online.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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