i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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