I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize