I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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