I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
another moral hangover. fuck.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
