Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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