plz talk dirty to me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dicks are not precious.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
