If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
