Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
