Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
