i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
