just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
