dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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