I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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