His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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