physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize