I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
