forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
