I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
