idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
