I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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