Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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