If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
