Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
