Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
