I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
