i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I currently don't understand fingers.
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