Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
