Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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