Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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