Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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