Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
