Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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