do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
