WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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