When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
