is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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