whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
