i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
