Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
