we have officially lost it.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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