I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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