me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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