Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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