Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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