I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
are you so shy because you have an std?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Randomize
