week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
