bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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