I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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