why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
