am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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