I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
