P.S. I can't hear my feet
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
