he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
