What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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