so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
