I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
