I want to stick my p in your. b.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
